I never thought of him as anything

John was my older brother’s best friend throughout their entire school career so I pretty much grew up knowing him as well. About the day I started showing interest in boys is the day he started showing interest in me. I never thought of him as anything more than a friend then. I merely brushed it off as a passing phase because they left for college the year I became a senior. I dated a few guys but nothing ever came of it. Then something changed when he came home that summer. I was out on the side of the driveway that served as the basketball court as I watched the two play one on one like I always did but there was something different about him. Like I said, we were nothing more than friends in my eyes but the way I was looking at him these days was more than friendly. The way his golden sun kissed skin glistened with sweat. Mmmm! I wanted to eat him up. Hold back here just a minute girl! This is John we are talking about after all. His emerald eyes sparkled with mischief as he glanced toward me as I pulled my knees toward my chest. I must have had a slight blush from the way he smiled. For the first time in my life I was actually embarrassed about the way I felt toward a man.

“I’m going in for something to drink,” I brushed the grass from my straight hem lavender running shorts.” Anybody need anything?”

“Why don’t you bring us a couple of bottled waters sis?” Dave responded.

“Sounds good to me.”

“I’ll be right back,” I left the two oblivious to the fact that John was memorizing every swing of my hips before I entered the house.

“Something going on with you and Abbie?” Dave inquired.

“Huh?” John turned back to Dave.

“You are seeing my little sister?”

“No! Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Well she sure is doing something to ya.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re eyes just about popped out of your head when she went inside.”

“So I noticed her. Big Deal!”

“John I’ve known you since grade school. There have been a couple of times I’ve seen that look in your eyes.”

“So what you want from me? I’m a red blooded American boy. You’re sister has grown into a fine looking woman.”

“That’s my sister you’re talking about.”

“Did I interrupt something?” She handed each one of them a bottle; lingering near John just a touch too long.

“Nothing sis,” he interrupted their not so stolen moment.

“Jeez Dave. Why don’t you be just a little more protective. I’ll just go over there and pretend I’m seven again.”

Never in a million years had John thought.

“Don’t even say it,” Dave threatened.

“You know Dave, I think I’ll head home and let you cool off a little bit. It was nice seeing you again Abbie. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”

“Don’t count on it.”

As soon as John had left, I tore into Dave.” What the hell is wrong with you?”

“He was eyeing you like a piece of meat Abbie.”

“Like you haven’t done that to any of my friends.”

“That’s different. I know how guys work.”

“So it’s okay for you to ogle my girlfriends but the minute I start noticing one of your friends it’s not okay.”

“It’s not okay because he’s been my best friend since I can remember.”

I stormed in the house with him following close behind.

I found the keys to her car and grabbed my purse.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“Somewhere where I’m not bothered by you!”

“Abbie!”

I turned in the foyer and stated,” I’ll be back when I cool off Dave. Mom and Dad aren’t here for the weekend so rest assured, I won’t be either.”

I just drove not sure really where I wanted to go but an hour later, I ended up on John’s doorstep. What am I doing here? He’s the main reason Dave and I are arguing. Who Cares? Dave’s a big boy and so is John I reminded myself. Nothing could have prepared me for the sight before me. John opened the door in nothing but a towel.

“Hey Abbie. What’s up?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

He rolled his eyes.” Come in and have a seat. Can I get you anything?”

“No thank you.”

“I’ll be right back then,” I watched as he left the room. Damn college had been good to him! Every muscle rippled as he once again entered the room in his current state of dress. What was this strange sensation knotting up in my stomach?

“So what’s up?”

“What’s wrong with him John?”

“He’s just protecting his baby sister.”

” It’s okay for him to look at my friends but when you look at me,” she lost her train of thought as those mesmerizing jewels met hers.

“When I look at you what?”

I looked away from him and spoke because it was hard enough with the thought of him being completely bare underneath that towel.” When you look at me I guess it’s like he thinks its incest or something,” I felt my eyes drifting slowly downward. He lifted my stormy blue gaze toward his and stated,” I think you and I both know we haven’t thought about each other that way in a long time.”

“Maybe I should go. Won’t your parents be home soon?” I tried diverting the subject.

“They’re not due home for another three hours.”

Great genius. What next?

“Abbie?”

“Yeah?”

“Come with me for a second.”

“Why?”

“I just want to show you something.”

Am I ready for this? Had I been waiting for this moment forever and just didn’t know it? I hesitantly followed him upstairs. I’d been to his house, just never his room. I looked around. It had all the signs of a guy’s room except for the framed picture setting on his night table. He picked up the framed object and handed it to me.” Remember that?”

“How could I forget? We were skating out on the street like we weren’t supposed to and I fell down and scraped my knee.”

“One more thing,” he offered his hand and pulled me to the full length closet mirror in front of himself.

“Now look at yourself. Tell me what you see.”

“This is silly.”

“Do it.”

“Okay. I’m Dave’s little sister. I’m an average student, I play volleyball, I go to high school dances and I hang out with my friends at the mall on Saturday afternoons. Anything else oh wise one?” I nudged his bare side. There’s that knot again.

“Let me tell you what he sees. He sees his little sister all grown up but can’t let go of the images of you playing Barbie dolls and jumping rope. To him you are still just seven years old.”

Nervously I responded,” So tell me what you see.”

I looked in the mirror waiting for his response but there was none. To be honest, I think we were both more than a little nervous about the way we felt toward one another. He’d said we hadn’t thought of each other in the sibling sense in a long time.

“John?”

“Are you okay?” he tried an aversion on the subject himself but who were we really kidding? It had been there since the day summer break had started for the boys. I turned to find myself eye level at the spectacular view of his broad chest. I was at a loss for words myself. I then found those wonderfully dazzling emeralds meeting mine and saying everything I needed to hear. Hearts racing wildly the space was diminished as he drew me against himself. Our lips met feverishly. Before we knew it, we were caught in a whirlwind of the first fleeting moments of discovering a new sensation. When he released me from that frenzied moment, I let go of him.” I think I should probably go,” stumbling over my words.

“If you think that’s what you should do.”

“You’re going to let me off the hook here.”

“I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do Abbie.”

God he was making this hard.” I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You don’t want to do something you’ll regret later”

I left his room scared to death of what I was feeling. I didn’t know what to do. I’d never been with anyone in my life before. Sure I had the Saturday night make out sessions in the backseat at the drive in but this was my brother’s best friend and he may as well have been my brother for the way he treated me up until that mind blowing kiss. I don’t know what they were teaching them in college these days but I’m betting this was one of those late night after hours courses taught only in dorm rooms. What do you expect from me? I’m only eighteen. My analogies don’t get much better than this. I turned back to his room. He looked so helpless. He was destroyed. I did this to him. Should I? I don’t think he’s going to push you away Abbie. I stepped out of my white canvas tennis shoes and made my way toward his bed. I started to play with the shiny dark strands on the top of his head. His head jerked up and I knew this time there was no turning back. His eyes lit up.

“Are you sure about this Abbie?”

I nodded positively.

“One more thing.”

As if reading his mind,” You’ll be the first.”

He peeled the cotton lavender blouse away with ease as his teeth latched onto the white satin covering my sufficient proportions. He was as gentle in his gestures as he stripped me of yet another layer of clothing. I felt his bare hands intrude on the suppleness of my youthful physique. His hands had been there before but not for that purpose I reminded myself. He flashed that impish smile he still had at the age of nineteen. He peeled away the comforter on his king sized bed and then he tore away the white cotton towel gripping his waistline and presented himself in all his glory. My eyes briefly diverted themselves toward the bed. I felt his firmly toned body pressed against mine and I was stupified. More like scared. I had dreamed about this moment for months now and here we were.

“Abs?” he drew my gaze toward his.

“What?”

“It’s okay. We go as fast or as slow as you want to go,” drawing a stray curl of gold from my features.

I led him to the center of the bed. Slowly but eagerly his hands and lips discovered every inch of my tender young frame as they reached the yet undiscovered region of my feminity. His lips met every inch of my skin as he deliberately skimmed the remaining material existing. No wonder he’d been dying to get to the heart of my body. I hadn’t worn anything underneath today. He softly awoke the sleeping rosebud nestled atop the pristine pink folds. I felt the gentle invasion of his fingers intruding upon my hidden yet eager tenderness. His fingers disappeared into my luscious encouragement. I grasped at the sheets as a curious new sensation swept over my body with his incessant ministrations thrust upon me. He stretched back up over me and pulled me over onto his body.

“This isn’t one of those daydreams I’m having and you’ll be gone in the blink of an eye?”

“God I hope not because I’m having one hell of a dream if it is.”

God I must be dreaming. What was I supposed to do next? I guess I could go off of what I’d seen of those movies Dave thought he had hidden in his closet. I claimed his lips as though I owned him. At this point I think I did but I didn’t want to be smugly confident. I released him and journeyed downward smothering him with feather light kisses. I swirled my tongue around the small dark brown protrusion jutting from his glorious pecs. I pinched and twisted as I felt his body slowly come to life under my naivety. I eagerly continued discovering every inch of his body. I hesitated when I reached his, his, and his…. I couldn’t even say it at the time but there I was looking at it. Weird looking thing I thought. My friends had told me about this thing but I didn’t think I’d ever touch one much less John’s. They told me to just do what feels comfortable and he’ll feel comfortable. I thought that was just a myth until I started working my magic on him. His encouraging moans told me my beginnings of sexual prowess were off to a great start. He must have known something I still didn’t know at the time as he drew me up against himself. He turned me back against the bed.

“John,” I met his glazed over expression. I knew something was about to change here and now. I hadn’t been nervous in a long while now and the butterflies were tying knots in my stomach. My breath rose as his intrusion slowly made it known to my inner workings. I gripped the sheets in agonizing torture. How could something this painful turn out to feel so good on down the road?

“Relax,” he held my gaze as he steadily eased his full length into this very precious gift I was giving him. He held himself deep within me to acclimate my body to the feel of the fixture of his masculinity. He was so patient with me. I don’t if it was the situation or it was the way he had truly felt about me all these years and just never said anything. His lips met mine as he slowly guided himself in and out of my body. I was obliviously in heaven not even wise to the fact that he had distracted me before he moved. This was what everybody was talking about? God I hope it gets better than this! Were the thoughts running through my head he steadily injected me with what I considered a weapon of torture right now. Little did I know he’d give me that curious sensation I’d felt earlier before and be even better than the last. He was something else. I rested comfortably against his strength not even realizing the time that had passed. I looked over at the digital display of his alarm clock on the bedside table; six forty five p.m. “John?” I lazily inquired as I returned my head to the comfortable space on the broadness of his chest reserved for me.

“Mmmhmm,” he groggily responded.

“You’re parents are out of town with mine.”

“I know,” a smile played on his lips as his fingertips ran softly along my back. He paused for a moment.” You hate me?”

“I’m still here aren’t I?”

You were probably wondering what happened between me and my bro’. Dave eventually got over the fact that his little sister wasn’t a child anymore. John and Dave eventually mended their differences. Me and John? Hmm….well let’s just say he still around.

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