Narrated by Swati
Hello, main Swati. tak aap logone padha ki kaise main aur papa maa ke ghar pe naa hone ka poora fayda utha rahe the. Par hamare liye ab ek nayi musibat thi.
Papa ke dost Ashok uncle jo unhe club lejane ke liye aaye the par ab yahi ruk gaye the. Is beech papa ko bahar jaani padi. Main aur uncle akele the jab mujhe unke sath kuch masti karne ki sujhi.
Hum dono tash ke khel ke naam par apni hade par kar rahe the. Fir maine unhe ek bar jhadwa bhi di. Iske baad main aur uncle mere bathroom gaye. Jab darwaze par khat-khatahat hui aur humdono ki ghabrahat ke maare halat kharab hone lagi.
Ashok uncle: Oh teri! Tere papa hai kya?
Main ghabrati hui uthi aur boli: Shayad par itni jaldi? Uff, aapko boli thi ki kapde mat nikaliyega.
Ashok uncle: Are yaar ab kya?
Main fir unhe shaant karti hui boli: Aise aap ab ghabrao mat.
Ashok uncle: Aur nahi to kya karu, woh mujhe maar dalega.
Main: Offo uncle shayad koi aur bhi to ho sakta hai. Aap aise ghabraoge to sab theek ho jayega kya?
Darwaaze ki ghanti firse baji.
Main: Aap yahi rukiye, mere baatroom mein. Mere room se bahar mat aayiyega. Main jaakar dekhti hun.
Uncle: Agar woh hua to, poochegana ki main kaha?
Main: Haan to main bol dungi ki aapko baathroom jaani thi to mere bathroom mein ho.
Uncle: Par mere kapde?
Ek aur baar ghanti baji to main boli: Uff kapde main laake dungi main jaati hun warna papa hue to sachme shak hoga unhe.
Uncle firse kuch bolna chahte the par main bina sune apne kapde theek ki aur bathroom se nikal gayi. Uncle ke kapdo ko laat markar sofe ke neeche dhakel di aur fir jaakar darwaaza kholi. Samne papa hi khade the.
Papa: Kya hua, itni der lagadi?
Papa andar aate hue living ko dekh pooche: Ashok kidhar gaya?
Main: Aaa woh ha-ha-ha woh mere bathroom gaye hai.
Papa: Tumhare bathroom? Waha kya karne gaya?
Main: Are papa, woh unhe toilet jana tha shayad, abhi abhi hi gaye hai.
Papa: Hmmm itna time kyu lagaye darwaaza kholne mein?
Main: Woh uncle ko apna bathroom dikha rahi thi, usi waqt aap ghanti bajaaye.
Papa hath mein pakde thaele ko mujhe dete hue bole: Ye lo kitchen mein rakh do. Aaj apni nanhi ko apne hatho se biriyani banake khilaunga.
Main: Oh, to aaj aap cooking karoge?
Papa jhole mein hath daalkar ek badi wali dairymilk nikalkar bole: Aur ye tumhare liye.
Main use leti hui boli: Wow thank you papa!
Main mudkar kitchen ke taraf jane lagi ki tabhi papa mujhe peeche se apni baanho mein pakad bole: Bas thank you?
Main: Papa uncle hai andar.
Papa mujhe chor bole: Offo ye kambakt aaj club jaane ke jagah yaha kyu aa gaya.
Main kitchen ko jaati hui boli: Aap hi ke karan unka phone utha lete to woh yaha nahi aate na.
Papa mere peeche-peeche aate hue mere kapdo ke upar se meri gand par cheeti kaat bole: Tumhare karan bolo tumhare karan mein phone nahi dekh paaya.
Hum dono kitchen mein the ab, counter par jhola rakh mein mudkar boli: Achchaa ha-ha-ha jaise aapto kuch kiye hi nahi naughty papa mere!
Papa: Ha-ha-ha! naughty?
Main: Haan ekdam naughty. Waise maa kya boli?
aPapa: Yahi ki Mishra aunty ke bacho ko Austrelia se aane mein abhi 2 din lagenge. To tumhari maa unke aane tak hospital mein hi unke liye rukegi.
Bhale maa se main chidti hun lekin aise waqt par mujhe maa par taras bhi aa rahi thi. Woh bechari insaniyat ke naate Mishra aunty ke liye hospital mein jo baithi hui thi.
Main fir poochi: Aur maa ka khaana wagayra?
Papa: Ghabrao mat, waha hospital mein canteen hai. Maine jakar dekha, khana bhi achcha hai waha ka.
Main: Hmmm tab theek hai waise bhi hum dono ko maa se thodi fursat bhi to chahiye thi.
Papa: Ha-ha-ha, haan bas wahi ek karan main kisi chinta mein nahi hun.
Main hath aage badhaayi aur papa ke pant ke upar se unke lund ko sahlati hui boli: Wahi to ab jab tak maa wapas nahi aa jati tab tak iss nevali ko iss saamp ka shikaar karna hai.
Papa fir kitchen se jhaank kar mere kamre ki taraf dekh bole: Waise is kambakt ko kaise bhagaye jaldi?
Main: Offo papa aise nahi bolte, kabhi kabhaar hi to aate hai.
Papa shirt ki button kholte hue bole: Haan par aaj sachme galat waqt par aaya.
Main: Koi baat nahi thoda intzaar kar lenge hum.
Main papa ke bache hue button kholti hui boli: Aur fir aap aur main poori raat taash ka naya khel khelenge.
Papa: Woh kaisa khel?
Main: Woh uss khel mein agar aap jeet gaye to aap mujhe chodhoge aur agar main jeeti to main aapse chodhwaungi!
Papa pahle hase aur fir bole: Ha-ha-ha ohh to dono mein main to baat barabar hi hai.
Main: Ha-ha-ha! Wahi to kyu ki mujhe aapke sath abhi bohut sara masti karni hai.
Papa: Ufff tum mujhe uttejit kar rahi ho, chalo main kapde badal kar aata hun.
Papa kitchen se nikal gaye aur main dekhti rahi ki woh kab apne kamre mein ghusenge. Unke kamre mein ghuste hi main living ko bhagi. Aur sofe ke neeche se uncle ke kapde nikal apne room ko bhagi.
Room ke andar ghuskar main darwaza band ki aur fir bathroom ke darwaze ko khol andar dekhi. Bechare uncle bathroom mein nange thand mein thithur rahe the. Mujhe dekh unhe aisi rahat mili maano jaise unke jaan mein jaan aa gayi ho.
Main unhe kapde deti hui boli: Uff thand lagi kya lijiye jaldi se pehan lijiye.
Uncle kapde lete hue bole: Lag to rahi thi par ab tumhe dekh garmi aane lag gayi.
Uncle itne bure waqt mein bhi flirt karna nahi chore, main boli: Ha-ha-ha, lijiye aur pehan lijiye warna aisa naa ho ki kabhi garam hi na ho paaye woh.
Mera ishara unke sikude hue lund par tha aur ye dekh woh bole: Ha-ha-ha, aisa nahi ye to jab chahe garma jaata hai waise kaon tha?
Main: Papa hi hai, woh apne kamre mein kapde badalne gaye hai, aap jaldi se apne kapde pehno.
Woh jhat se mere hath ko pakde aur apne paas kheech liye aur baanho mein lekar mujhe bole: Itni jaldi kya thi tumhare papa ko aane ki kambakt galat waqt par aa gaya.
Main sochne lagi ki waha papa inke liye yahi bole aur yaha ye papa ke liye.
Main unke baah se chutne ke sangharsh mein boli: Uff uncle abhi choriye papa kabhi bhi apne room se bahar aa sakte hai.
Uncle samne se apna ek hath neeche le gaye aur meri choti dress ke andar hath daal meri jangho ke beech ghusane lage. Main apni janghe dabali lekin unki ungliyo ki nok jaise hi meri choot ke daane se takraayi. Main naa chahti hui apni janghe khol gayi.
Main: Mmmm uncle abhi nahi please!
Uncle meri choot ki honto ko komalta se sahlate hue bole: To kab?
Main: Mmmm baad mein abhi jane dijiye!
Itne mein bahar living se papa ki awaaz aayi: Swati! kaha ho?
Main yaha uncle ke hath ko pakad rok boli: Ufff papa jane dijiye.
Uncle mujhe chor diye aur main boli: Main bahar jaati hun. Aap kapde pehankar 1–2-minute baad aayiye.
Main jhat se nikli aur kamre se bahar nikalte hi samne papa khade the, main apne peeche darwaza band kar di aur poochi: Aap yaha kyu khade?
Papa: Main tumhe dhoond raha tha. Woh kaha hai? So gaya kya bathroom mein.
Main: Woh woh ab bhi andar hi hai pata nahi bole ek minute mein aa rahe hai.
Papa mujhe mere kamar se pakad bole: Usko bolo jaldi se nikal kar bhaag jaye yaha se.
Main: Papa shhh woh sunn sakte hai!
Papa mujhe apne banho mein kheech bole: Are woh to andar bathroom mein hai waha tak awaaz thodi jayegi.
Main bol chuki thi ki uncle bathroom mein hai. Par shayad woh ab mere kamre mein apne kapde pehan rahe the aur ye papa nahi jaante the. Mere andar ghabraahat hone lagi ki kahi papa aur meri baat uncle na sunn le. Aur unhe hamari baap beti ki raaz ka pata chal jaye.
Main: Offo papa unko jane dijiyena uske baad.
Papa apne ek hath ko mere peeche le gaye aur meri dress utha kar meri gand ki daraar mein haath le gaye. Main gand ko dabati hui unhe rok boli: Papa nahi abhi nahi please!
Papa: Kya karu beta ab mujhe tumse door rahne ka mann hi nahi hota.
Ye kahte hue woh apni ungli mere gand ke ched par satakar khujlane lage. Main buri phass gayi thi. Pata nahi kahi darwaaze ke peeche uncle sachme kuch sunn na le.
Fir main papa se akhiri baar boli: Papa please yaha nahi, uncle kabhi bhi bathroom se bahar aa sakte hai. Hame sunn lenge aur hamare bare mein jaan jayenge.
Papa mujhe chor diye aur tab maine rahat ki saans li. Papa bole: Theek hai-theek hai jaldi se use bhagate hai aur fir hum apna mazedaar khel shuru karenge.
Main kuch na boli aur papa ko dhakelti hui aage badaayi taaki woh mere darwaze ke paas se door hokar aage kuch bole. Hum dono jaakar living room mein baithe.
Waha papa daru ki bottle dekh bole: Ye bewada itni der mein itna pee gaya? Kitna peeya usne?
Main: 1, nahi-nahi 2 peg.
Papa: 2 peg mmm 4 peg ke barabar pee gaya woh.
Tabhi peeche mere room ka darwaaza khula. Uncle kapde sab pehan bahar nikle. Hum dono peeche unhe dekh rahe the. Mere mann mein yahi darr thi kahi woh papa aur meri koi baat sune to nahi.
Papa uncle se bole: Kyu kya hua daru zyada ho gayi? Ulti to nahi maara?
Uncle mere tafa dekhe, kyu ki papa ke alawa sirf mujhe pata tha ki asal baat kya thi. Uncle fir papa se bole: Are nahi-nahi, utna thodi piya ki ulti maar doon bas paet thoda gadbad kar raha tha.
Papa: Paet kharab hai fir bhi daaru daba kar peeyo tum.
Tab tak uncle hamare paas aa chuke the aur hamare bagal wale sofe par baith bole: Kaha yaar, main kaha utna piya?
Papa: Bottle dekh ke dikh raha hai kitna gatak gaye.
Uncle: Are woh to Swati beta ne peg banake di, usse pata nahi na, woh poora glass bhar ke dedi.
Papa: Haan tujhe to bas bahana chahiye ki kaise zyada peene ko mile.
Papa tab TV on karne lage to uncle bole: Haan to ab kya plan hai?
Papa: Kya plan? Iski maa nahi hai ghar pe to kuch khakar sone jaunga aur kya?
Main unki baat sunn rahi thi. Papa TV ke taraf dekh rahe the aur uncle mujhe dekh bole: Aise kaise, itna achcha maoka mila hai tumhe, tum sone ki baat kar rahe ho?
Mere aur papa dono ke kaan khade ho gaye ki woh kya kahna chah rahe the. Papa unse pooche: Matlab, kaisa maoka?
Uncle: Are yaar, bhabhi ji ghar pe nahi hai. Kyu na aaj hum yahi taash aur daaru ki peg lagale. Waise bhi kal parso to chutti hi hai yaar.
Papa: Nahi-nahi, fir tumhari biwi ki daant mujhe bhi sunni padegi. Tum jaldi nikal jana aaj. Agar unhe pata chala ki tum mere yaha ho aur ghar late pahunche peekar to poori daant mere sar hogi.
Uncle: Are yaar, maine pahle hi bata di, ki aaj main tumhare yaha hun aur shayad late aunga.
Main uncle ko dekhne lagi ki aisa kab hua?
Papa: Tu jhoot mat bol!
Uncle: Are, jhoot nahi bol raha, poochlo Swati se, kuch der pahle usne call kiya tha?
Papa mujhe dekh bole: Haan kya beta, aunty ne ise call kiya tha kya?
Main tab sochne lagi ki inko inki patni ne call kiya tha jab main aur uncle yaha sofe par baithe taash khel rahe the.
Main: Haan call aayi to thi.
Papa mere taraf dekh rahe the to uncle ne sahi maoka dekh turant meri baat kaati. Aur mujhe aankh maar kar aage bole: Tabhi usne poocha aur maine kah diya tha, haina beta.
Pata nahi uncle ke kya iraade the lekin main bina aage soche unke haan mein haan mila gayi.
Papa chidte hue pooche: Are tum mujhse pooche bhi nahi, kya hua bhabhi ji ne ghar se nikal diya kya?
Uncle: Are nahi, woh use kisi shaadi waadi mein jaani thi. To woh boli shaadi mein der hogi fir main socha ki ghar mein khana bhi nahi hoga khane ko.
Papa: Hmmm theek hai-theek hai ab kare bhi kya? To ab kya?
Uncle haste hue papa aur mujhe dekh bole: Ha-ha-ha, daaru hai, taash hai, samne TV hai to aaj yahi mana lete hai club ki sham.
Papa: Uff hmmm jo chahe karo.
Uncle fir mujhe bole: Swati beta.
Main: Haan uncle?
Uncle: Apne papa ke liye bhi ek glass le aaona.
Papa: Haan ab le hi aao aur fridge mein soda aur pani hoga woh bhi le aao.
Main uth kar boli: Ok ok par aap logo ke sath main bhi khelungi.
Papa: Tum?
Uncle: Haan haan, khelne do use bhi. Woh fir kyu bore maregi waise bhi bhabhiji hai nahi jo use taash sikhane par hame daant pade.
Main: Offo uncle, ab main bachchi nahi ke maa aise baato par mujhe daante.
Uncle: Haan haan ab to tum badi jo ho gayi ho.
Main samajh gayi ki woh kya kah rahe the. Isse pahle ki woh papa ke samne kuch aur bole main kitchen ko chali gayi. Kitchen jakar sochi ki uncle jhoot kyu bole ki aunty se unhone aisa kaha. Kahi aisa to nahi ki uncle aaj yahi rah kar mere sath kuch karne ki soch rahe the.
Waise ye baat soch mujhe halki uttejna bhi hui. Par sath hi papa ke rahte kuch hona naamumkin si lag rahi thi. Khair mujhe iss baat ki bhi tasalli thi ki uncle ne papa aur meri koi baat suni nahi.
Main soda, pani ki bottle aur ek glass lekar wapas gayi. Papa ki nazar TV par channel badalne mein lagi hui thi. Par uncle papa se nazar bachakar mujhe hi ghoor rahe the. Main unhe dekh bhawro ka ishara ki to woh bhi muskura diye.
Sare cheez table par rakh mein wapas papa ke sath baith gayi. Papa TV ki remote mujhe dekar bole: Lo kuch laga do.
Papa apne glass mein apne liye peg banane lage. Aur main TV ki channel badalti hui kabhi uncle ko dekhti to kabhi papa ko. Koi kuch bol nahi raha tha to main boli: Kya dekhoge aap log?
Uncle: Kuch bhi laga do beta, waise bhi koi dekhega to nahi.
Main: To band kar deti hun na.
Papa: Nahi-nahi rahne do warna ajeeb sa sannata sa lagega. Gaane wane hi laga kuch, club jaisa mahol ho jayega, ha-ha-ha!
Main: Hmm to chaliye uncle aap patte daliye, aap logo ke sath main bhi khelungi aaj.
Uncle haste hue bole: Ha-ha-ha, pahle jaise khel rahe the? Maza hi aa gaya mujhe to.
Papa: Kyu? Woh kyu?
Main uncle ko dekhne lagi ki woh kya bolenge, kahi ye na bolde ki woh mujhe nachwaye aur sab jo hum kiye.
Uncle: Are kya bolu ha-ha-ha, ek baar bhi nahi haara main.
Papa: Hmmm-hmmm bechari ko aati nahi theek se ye bolo.
Main: Wahi na papa, upar se ye baar-baar mere patte bhi dekh rahe the, imaandari se khel hi nahi rahe the.
Uncle: Achca-achca ab dekho main yaha baitha hun. Theek hai ab batana zara, imaandari se khelta hun ya nahi.
Iske baad uncle patte dale aur hum sab tash khelni shuru kar diye. Agle 10–15-minute aise hi khel chalta raha. Jab main sirf khel rahi thi to uncle mujhe yoon yoon karke hara rahe the. Par ab papa aur uncle to mano gambheer ho kar koi antarastriya khel khel rahe the.
Yakeenan woh dono tajurbekaaro ke tarah khel rahe the ab aur main bore maarne lagi. Na hi main papa ke rahte uncle ke sath kuch masti kar paati na hi uncle ke rahte papa ke sath.
Kuch aur 5-minute hui jab papa bole: Rummy!
Aur fir papa uncle ko dekh bole: Dekha, pahla hi khel haar gaye tum mujhse.
Uncle: Are yaar ab woh main…
Uncle apni glass uthaye aur usme bachi poori daaru ek baar mein gatak gaye aur neeche rakh bole: Ek aur peg dalo dimaag kaam nahi kar raha mera.
Main hasti hui boli: Ha-ha-ha, achcha jab main thi to bada aapka dimaag kaam kar raha tha.
Uncle: Haan tab josh tha khelne ke liye.
Papa: Josh kaisa josh?
Uncle: Woh woh aise hi bola bas, ha-ha-ha.
Papa bhi apni glass khatm kiye aur dono glass mein peg banate hue ghadi mein time dekhe aur bole: 6:30 hone wale hai.
Uncle bottle ki aor dekh bole: Haan ek aur lani padegi kya?
Papa: Haan ye to tumhare liye bhi kaafi nahi hogi, piyakkad kahi ke.
Main nahi chahti thi ki papa zyada peekar talli hokar so jaye. Agar aisa hua to fir raat ko mujhe kaon maza dega.
Main boli: Offo kitna piyoge aaplog itna kafi nahi hai kya?
Papa: Ha-ha-ha, are beta, kabhi-kabhi to peeta hun.
Main papa ko aankh dikhati hui boli: Par papa…
Woh mere aankh ke ishare ko samajh gaye aur bindaas bol baithe: Are beta ghabrao mat. Aisa nahi hai ki main zyada peekar so jata hun, aaj to main jaga rahunga raat bhar.
To be continued.
COMMENTS